


The Cosplay Kid

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-30
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 07:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/416228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Dave Strider, age fifteen. Although you are completely indifferent towards anime, you are pretty knowledgeable of its workings, as required of a TUMBLR FAMOUS blogger and connoisseur of all things IRONIC. Still, you had never anticipated that you would be attending an anime convention in a MAGICAL GIRL COSTUME lovingly crafted by your own hands. Yet here you are and looking PRETTY DAMN GOOD.</p><p>A short and silly story about Dave accompanying John to a con, narrated through Pesterchum and chat logs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

> Dave: Miscalculate.  
  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
  
EB: dave!  
EB: are you there?  
EB: you’re always on what am i talking about?  
EB: daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.  
TG: christ john cant a guy whack it in peace  
EB: ew  
EB: haven’t we talked about this whole oversharing issue?  
TG: talked about yes  
TG: agreed upon no  
TG: but anyways i was kidding dude  
TG: like id really be able to get in the mood with all these goddamn smuppets laying around silently judging me with their condescending little asscheeks  
EB: bluuuuuuuuh.  
EB: enough about your poopyphobia or whatever!  
TG: im assuming you meant pupaphobia  
TG: also fuck off my fear is totally rational  
TG: rose “mommy issues” lalonde should consider checking some of her own baggage before rifling through other peoples dirty laundry  
EB: shut up, you and rose are both plenty dysfunctional but that isn’t important right now!  
EB: what is important is that there is going to be a convention not too far from here next month.  
TG: what like an anime convention  
EB: yes!  
EB: we should go, it would be so much fun!  
EB: leave the gals behind and have some quality mantime!  
TG: i dont know man  
TG: sounds kind of lame  
EB: what, no way!  
EB: dave you’re being a butt right now.  
EB: sir-mix-a-lot must really like you.  
EB: because you are the biggest butt.  
TG: thats fucking third degree man  
TG: im literally crying right now  
TG: please no more cutting commentary on my character  
TG: ill go with you  
EB: yay!  
TG: as long as you dont mind me breaking out my sailor scout cosplay that is  
EB: oh my god, really???  
TG: think you can handle that because i can understand if you couldnt  
TG: that shit is going to be way too hot to handle  
TG: your tender, naked hands dont have a hope of grasping on to the torrid handle that is my cosplay  
EB: are you kidding?  
EB: i can’t wait!  
TG: youre not going to embarrassed to hang out with a dude in a magical girl costume?  
EB: no way, it’s going to be super funny!  
EB: dad is calling me to dinner but i’ll tell you more about the con later!  
EB: i don’t tell you this enough, but i’m so glad you’re my friend.  
EB: you’re the best dave!  
EB: thanks so much!!!

 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--


	2. Chapter 2

> Dave: Argue semantics.

DAVE: hey bro   
DAVE: can you give me a ride to the craft store next time you go   
DAVE: youre going to have restock your greasy smuppet felt pretty soon right   
DIRK: Sure, no problem.   
DIRK: However, may I inquire where this sudden interest stems from?   
DIRK: You’ve never desired to accompany me before.   
DAVE: i was joking around with egbert but he took it seriously so now i kind of need to make a sailor scout costume to wear to a con   
DIRK: You’re going to an anime convention?   
DAVE: yeah johns into that weeaboo shit   
DIRK: I’m coming.   
DAVE: no youre motherfucking not   
DAVE: i have just now gained the ability to travel through time   
DAVE: i checked it out and whoops youre not going with me to the con   
DAVE: future me sends his condolences   
DAVE: and by condolences i mean a middle finger jutting prominently from his defiant fist   
DAVE: future me is kind of a dick sorry   
DAVE: for now at least apparently those feelings will change   
DIRK: There’s no need for theatrics, Dave.   
DIRK: I get it. It’s a date.   
DIRK: My mistake.   
DAVE: fucking christ dirk its not a date why do you always have to go there   
DIRK: I don’t know, why do you have to have such a glaringly obvious crush?   
DAVE: i dunno it must be a side effect of the gay i caught from my totally homobutt brother   
DIRK: Sound reasoning.   
DAVE: okay whatever feelings i may or may not have for john its NOT a date   
DIRK: Did John invite Rose and Jade too?   
DAVE: no he said it was going to be a guy thing   
DIRK: Date.   
DAVE: how does going to an anime convention with another dude who refers to it as “quality mantime” constitute a date   
DIRK: How does it not?   
DAVE: whatever thats not the key issue here   
DIRK: What is then?   
DAVE: i need to crossdress as a magical school girl   
DAVE: my honor and more importantly my ironic reputation is at stake   
DAVE: i know john thinks i wont really go through with it   
DAVE: hes trying to break me and and a strider never breaks   
DIRK: Only splinters.   
DAVE: fuck yes   
DIRK: Fuck yes.   
DAVE: lets go motherfucking crafting   
DIRK: I’ve never been so proud. 


	3. Chapter 3

>Dave: Deny, deny, deny.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

GG: hi!!!  
TG: hey  
GG: john told me youre going to a con im so jealous!  
GG: i tried to get him to take me along too but he said it was a guy thing??  
GG: soooooooo lame  
GG: but i guess it makes sense since its kind of your first date ;)  
TG: dont winky face at me woman  
TG: its not a date  
TG: why does everyone think its a date  
GG: its not????  
GG: but i thought you guys were like an unofficial official thing already?????????  
TG: what does that even mean  
GG: the way you guys act at school i thought you were secretly dating and were too shy to tell me and rose about it  
TG: why would you even think that  
GG: maybe because you totally are totally lovey dovey with each other all the time!!!  
TG: no no no  
TG: jade  
TG: dollface  
TG: you are majorly misinterpreting our ironic flirtations  
GG: well i think you are misinterpreting your own ironically ironic flirtations!!!!  
TG: the irony reach around  
TG: thats impressive even for me  
GG: what i mean is you act like youre joking and you are joking but you really ARENT joking!!!  
TG: jade i love you but please read what you just wrote  
TG: it is unmitigated nonsense  
GG: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhg D:  
GG: im no good at this stuff  
GG: just talk to rose about it please!!!  
TG: there isnt anything to talk about youre overanalyzing because youve been brainwashed by rose to look for hidden meaning in every insignificant detail  
TG: but thanks for your concern anyways  
TG: youre a sweetie  
GG: whatever youre just trying to butter me up to distract me from the truth  
GG: i have a nose for lies dave  
GG: and you are stinky sir!!!!!  
GG: but lucky for you theres a more pressing matter at hand!!  
GG: you have a sailor moon cosplay and never told me???? :(  
TG: oh  
TG: keep this between you and me but i may have embellished a little  
TG: i dont actually have one but i am making one  
TG: well i havent actually started but i have all the shit i need  
GG: thats so cool!! :D  
GG: which scout are you going to be??  
TG: uh the moon one  
TG: because when i went to the craft place she was the only one i could remember  
GG: awesome!!  
TG: yeah i was actually just about to get started  
GG: oh!!!  
GG: ill leave you alone then!!  
GG: i have some stuff to talk about with rose anyways  
GG: bye!!!!!!!!! :D

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

TG: shes going to go talk to rose  
TG: great


End file.
